


A Nest of Snakes

by anACTUALmess



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23318164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anACTUALmess/pseuds/anACTUALmess
Summary: What was a little rivalry between geniuses, especially when you're brothers? Detective Smith and his brother, Doctor Smith, both decided that, just for the hell of it, they would give MI6 a try. Jack was retiring, after all, and it would be a shame to spend their days doing mundane office work. They could run circles around any other agent in the running, be it intellectually, physically, and mentally anyway. They had walked into what they thought was a lion's den. Turns out, it was a nest of snakes.A sort of Spy AU with both human 10th and 11th Doctors from a cheese puff fueled dream.
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Caligo is my own character and this entire thing was a product of some upside down, late night cheese puff fueled dream. I gave Mr. Clever a first name for the sake of not being super awkward when writing, imagine the old man controlling the Snowmen from the Christmas special that introduced Clara the Governess. ;)

December was just kicking off and the office Christmas party welcomed the spirit of the season in early. A light sprinkling of snow had graced the city of London that evening. Caligo had just finished putting on the furniture covers on the patio set for her boss before returning inside the lavish house.

Joseph Clever watched her from beyond the glass sliding doors, a glass of spiked eggnog in hand for her. "I must apologize for asking you to go through the trouble in such weather," Joseph said as he handed her the glass.

"Its not a problem, Mr. Clever." Caligo took the drink and did her best not to show her distaste for it. It was still too sweet. Too rich. Heinrich hadn't added enough rum but he also had quite the sweet tooth. Her distaste for the richness of it didn't go unnoticed, however, as her boss handed her a small bottle of rum to add to her drink.

"I've noticed you prefer your drinks a little stronger than others. Please, go and enjoy the party."

Caligo gave a brief nod, although it wasn't her first idea of a good time. Still, he was trying to be kind and so Caligo made her way to the large sitting room where much of their office was present playing a game of charades. As per the usual, the Smith brothers were at the center of the show and butting heads at the same time.

John Smith the tenth had a masters and PhD in psychology/sociology and mathematics by the age of 19. As the head of the HR department, he was fondly nicknamed Doctor Smith for the way he interacted with his fellows. Working for this company could be stressful so of course, having some sort of a psychologist on shift was reassuring. The man was if nothing else a social butterfly and many of the female staff would dare to call him a fox. With compliments like that, it had stoked his ego some in his time at the company.

John Smith the eleventh and younger brother to Doctor Smith was not denied his own claim to fame, however. A masters and PhD of his own in criminology and computer programming was in his name by the age of 18, something he never failed to flaunt in the presence of his older brother. Of course, Doctor Smith was always quick to point out that he'd been just a month shy of 19 when he was awarded his certificates. He'd even had a brief stint with Scotland Yard before deciding that a change in career was necessary, the tech department for which he was the head of nicknaming him Detective Smith. The man just loved murder mysteries and surprise twists, all of which he solved before reaching the writer's conclusion to the story. He absolutely lacked his older brother's social graces, but he had his moments and his own female admirers.

They were both were, to put it simply, geniuses which was why Caligo could never understand why they settled for working for Clever Tech industries.

The pair of them were on opposite teams and covered with tally marks to keep score. It was absolute madness and Christmas spirit. 'This is definitely too much,' she thought to herself and finished off her drink. It was time to go home before she put a damper on anyone's spirits. Just because she wasn't feeling the season didn't mean other people couldn't enjoy it. Caligo left her glass on the counter beside the sink and slipped out of the house, aiming to make it back to her flat before the snow really set in. Perhaps the store would be open late enough for her to grab something to eat. 

* * *

Late one early December night, Detective Smith found himself standing on a snow covered bridge overlooking the small canal just before his apartment complex. He couldn't remember why he was out there or even when he'd seen fit to have been walking about when the snow was up to his ankles. There wasn't a soul for miles, save for a woman who passed him along the way when he'd finally realized something was amiss. Long dark hair tied up despite the cold air and a brown leather jacket that clashed terribly with a well worn green scarf. It was honestly the color that brought him back to earth.

"Well well," a familiar voice called behind the Detective. "Funny thing, seeing you out here in the snow like you're about to freeze to death!" Doctor Smith gave his brother a wry smirk, teasing him, yet here he was too, trudging around in the snow when he himself was chilled to the bone.

All pleasantries aside, the look on his brother's face told him that they had a different problem on their hands. Having convened at Detective Smith's flat, they both sat down with a cup of tea to discuss it. "I cannot for the life of me remember what I did this morning. Or yesterday. Or the day before that," the Detective finally said as he sat in the arm chair adjacent to his brother.

Doctor Smith nodded in agreement. "Its the same for me. What did we do tonight? Was it you and me?" The phone rang, unexpected of course, and it turned out to be Jack.

"Something definitely happened," Jack said, a touch irritable, "considering that you never contacted me like you were supposed to after the party."

"Party," Doctor Smith muttered, confused. He frowned at the phone as though Jack could see him and twiddled his fingers around the rim of the cup. "Something happened at that party then."

"You two had a video on you, didn't you?”

A moment passed before either the Doctor or the Detective realized what Jack was implying. That’s right. The Detective’s bowtie, the Doctor’s glasses. They had miniature surveillance equipment embedded in them in case this exact sort of thing were to happen; a built-in black box. It was a good thing they had it, too, because they finally had some kind of an idea of what had happened that night.

“The problem is,” Doctor Smith sighed, “is that we don’t really recognize a lot of these people. None of those faces look familiar.”

“Wait, wait, wait!”

“What, what, what??”

“Pause it!” Detective Smith practically jumped to his feet when he saw it. A woman stood in the doorway of the room they had been playing charades in, watching them for perhaps all of five minutes, but what the Detective noticed about her was the brown leather jacket and worn green scarf she was wearing. “That woman,” he said with absolute conviction, “walked past me on the bridge just before we ran into each other. I don’t know about you but that’s suspicious!”

Doctor Smith leaned closer to the computer to get a better look at the woman in question. Her face certainly didn’t seem familiar and he doubted his brother remembered her beyond their brief passing on the bridge, but if she was at this office party then she had to be a coworker. They knew what she looked like, they knew, in theory, where to find her, and right now she was their only lead. “Okay, but lets approach this the smart way.”

“Oi, get your own lead,” Detective Smith said, scowling at his brother.

“Same lead! Who’s to say I never saw her either, hmm?”

“First one to get her name gets to follow the lead.”

“Piece of cake.”

Doctor Smith had meant it, too. Between the two of them, he knew his way around women far better than his younger brother. It would be easy for him to get her name, get her number even, and she would surely tell her all about the company, the Christmas party and then some over coffee. Detective Smith never learned that those kinds of bets between them were the ones he would never win.


	2. Chapter 2

It was early on Monday morning that Caligo arrived at the office. Before another soul could be found there and just the way she liked it; quiet. In the main lobby of the building, Mr. Clever had adopted the practice of having a shoebox area where the employees would change between work shoes and outdoor shoes from a Japanese businessman he’d had many dealings with. It helped, especially in winter when everyone’s shoes were wet and covered in snow. Less of a pain for the maintenance worker, or so was the intent. At the very least, she thought it was a considerate touch on his part. Time to get on with her day, though, and so she trudged off to her cubicle. There was plenty of time for her to make herself a cup of coffee and a toaster pastry before she settled in for the day.

In that same dawn hour, the Smith brothers had entered the office building themselves. It was by chance that they passed by the shoeboxes and noticed that there was one pair with the snow already melting off of it.

"Someone beat us here," Doctor Smith murmured.

"Maybe it's the someone we're looking for," Detective Smith said, looking and feeling confident. The numbered plaque on the box read 028, likely referring to office or cubicle number. He'd much preferred a name, but it was likely easier to have a number that didn't need replacing should they lose an employee. "Which one you think is ours?"

"No clue. Never mind it though. We can catch her at her cubicle before anyone else gets in."

Presumably, they were both to drop off their things in their respective departments first and then scout the office for their mystery lead. The detective could only smile when he happened to pass by cubicle number 028. The computer was in the process of booting up and the telltale brown leather jacket and the worn green scarf hung over the back of their chair. They were in luck, and more so, he was in luck that she would work on the same floor as him. Although she wasn't in her cubicle, he could very well guess where she might be. Just like many of their coworkers, it was most likely she had gone to make herself a cup of tea, else she wouldn't be able to function without the caffeine.

The light in the breakroom was on and someone was absolutely in there. At the table slumped over in a chair was a woman. Detective Smith couldn't see her face but the gentle rise and fall of her shoulders most likely meant she was asleep. There was the slightest hint of doubt. The woman was dressed very plainly; a simple white blouse and slacks with sensible shoes was the entirety of her attire, nothing particularly spectacular or flashy. Yet, while the woman snoozed, a pot of coffee was just about finished brewing and something was in the toaster. Whatever it was, it smelled good!

Detective Smith had been so sidetracked by the toaster that he hadn't been prepared for a hand to reach around him to snatch up the pastry he was about to inspect. Detective Smith whipped around to see the woman with long dark hair from the party biting into the toaster pastry as she poured herself a cup of coffee. It took a moment for him to be certain it was her, her bangs not quite restrained by the tie that held the rest of it back low at the nape of her neck. It cast a slight shadow over her face, fatigue being transformed into a look of displeasure. "Morning," he chirped in an effort to instigate dialogue.

The woman glanced up at him, her equally dark eyes narrowing on him for a moment. It was a gaze of annoyance, of judgment. Either his behavior was unusual or simply offputting to her in some way, but regardless, she didn't seem one much for conversation. She gave the detective the barest of nods and promptly went about her day.

“So much for that,” Detective Smith muttered. His brother entered the room at that point and glanced down the hallway leading to the other side of the office. The Doctor had a wry smile on his face.

“So then, what’s her name?”

“Oh hush up.”

~

It was rare that Caligo found herself in the office with other people this early. The fact that it was the Smith brothers only made her more suspicious and uneasy. Most of her coworkers tended to mind their own business unless they wanted something from her, and whenever one sought her out, they almost always did. She tried to shake off the paranoia, the nagging voice in the back of her mind, but it simply wouldn’t give up. “What’s there to even overthink,” she asked herself quietly as she sat back at her desk. The Smiths had never once so much as said hello to her until now. They didn’t even know who she was. How could they want something from her?


	3. Chapter 3

Three days had gone by and neither the Detective nor the Doctor could find any mention of a woman matching the one they met in the breakroom in their notes. Not a single thing. There wasn’t anyone who really fit her physical description, but then again, her physical description didn’t stand out all that much. The only real breakthrough they had was the number attached to her shoebox which had eventually led them to a name in the personnel files.

“Don’t you find it odd,” Doctor Smith mumbled almost into his cup of tea, “that no one’s ever once mentioned her?”

“Oh they could have. We just weren’t listening.” Detective Smith ran a hand through his hair when his phone rang again for perhaps the hundredth time in the hour. His brother had noticed the unusual frequency of messages he’d been getting, constantly watching him every time he touched the damn device. He’d get nosy soon enough, that was for sure.

“Blimey John, we’re supposed to be focusing on the case,” the Doctor growled, snatching the phone out of his brother’s hands. “Who’s Clara? A girl? She the one from your department?”

“Give it back!” Despite being the taller of the two, the Detective wasn’t always quite as graceful as his brother and that had made keep-away a horrible game for him as a child.

“No, no! This is perfect! Why didn’t you ask Clara about her sooner? Actually, what on earth have the two of you been talking about?” Doctor Smith began scrolling through the text history when the phone was snatched out of his hands.

“We’re supposed to be focusing on the case, remember,” Detective Smith reprimanded with as much sass he could muster in his body. He smiled, his height finally giving him an advantage at last. Still, his brother had raised a good point and so he hit the call button on the chat thread with Clara. She picked up on the third ring, sounding rather out of breath. “Is uh, this a bad time, Oswald,” he asked, clearly nervous.

“Not really,” Clara huffed, “just got off the treadmill. Way too cold to be out for a run right now. What’s the matter John? You never call.”

“Put it on speaker,” Doctor Smith hissed quietly.

“That your brother? Hello Doctor Smith!”

Detective Smith relented at that and put the phone on speaker so they could both hear Clara properly.

“Lovely to hear your voice Ms. Oswald,” Doctor Smith said. Clara gave a small laugh, hearing the obvious mirth in his voice. Nice as she was, even Clara couldn’t resist making his brother all levels of uncomfortable with constant flirting.

“Clara,” Detective Smith interjected, “do you know anyone with the name Caligo Valgus in the office?” There was silence on the other end of the line for a time other than faint background noises and perhaps a cat.

“Can’t say I know that name exactly. There’s Cal, but pretty sure that’s a nickname, though she never did bother to give her full name. Why? She get into it with you or something?”

The Doctor and Detective exchanged looks. “No, not exactly. We just ran into someone we don’t recall really seeing around the office all that much. She new?”

Clara hummed in thought. “Wouldn’t say that. She was here long before I was. Talks a lot with Mr. Clever, I know that much.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dunno what about really, just that they're always talking about one thing or another. Goes to her when he wants something done, y'know? But then again, mostly everyone does when they need something done. Well, with exceptions, of course."

“What kind of exceptions,” Detective Smith asked, his interest piqued.

“You know,” Clara said again. “Wouldn’t go to her if I had a problem with a coworker, per say. Or if my computer needed fixing. Not her area of expertise is what I mean.”

“Clara,” Doctor Smith said, “lovely lady that you are, do you think there’s any way you could go on ahead and maybe chat her up a bit?”

“What’s the matter, Doctor? She immune to that classic Smith charm?”

The Doctor knew he’d walked right into that one and gave his brother a light smack to the arm to silence any laughing that might’ve been bubbling up in his chest. “Not this time, it seems.”

“I’ll give it a go, but you, Detective Smith,” Clara said, and both brothers could hear the smile in her voice, “owe me a favor.”

“Name the time and place, Oswald,” Detective Smith chuckled. They hung up shortly thereafter and Detective Smith looked at his brother for a moment.

“She’ll be fine,” Doctor Smith reassured his brother. “Clara’s great with people.”

Clara was great when it came to handling people, but the Detective couldn’t help but feel as though this lead too would come up short.


End file.
